“It’s not the destination, it's the journey.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Day 178 AF.
I am a little late working on this blog post as I was on a four-day road trip with a close friend, the first two days enjoying the time, views, and stops along the way, capturing photos and sharing memories, and the last two days, loading a moving truck, driving for twelve hours with frequent stops and then unloading the truck at the end of the drive. Knowing the purpose of the drive was moving possessions and would be stressful, we had agreed to a slower drive at the beginning of the trip to enjoy the journey.
The details of the trip aren't necessary to relate here, but I wanted to share that the mission was accomplished. All of the boxes and belongings in a California storage unit fit in the U-Haul truck we rented, we had no breakdowns or broken bones, and we made it back to Portland on schedule. Plus, I got some great photos from the Northern California Redwoods and coastline!
The important point I want to make here in relation to my recovery is that I anticipated the stress involved in such a trip. The kind of stress that, in the past, would have easily let me rationalize the use of a "numbing agent". The work of moving household belongings, the stress of traffic and long drives, worries about being on time for lodging reservations and equipment rentals, and catastrophic thinking about truck breakdowns, damaged goods, and physical injury were serious concerns. Yes, I did worry and I did feel stressed, but I managed it. I recognized when I was letting my mind spin up and just this recognition gave me a pause, a space the return to the present. I recognized when my friend was feeling stressed and expressing worries, and was ready with soothing words to provide calm for her, I hope.
A very important part of this adventure, and what truly resonated in my recovery from alcohol, was an awareness, an aha moment, on the final drive through Portland rush hour traffic, the thought being this: In my past, a series of stressful days would have stoked my desire to drink and numb. As well, the successful completion of a difficult project would have had me thinking I deserved a reward, in the form of relaxation with a drink. Maybe there was some glimmer of a desire to use at the base of these thoughts, but I quickly took pride in my awareness and strength in recovery. I was solid!
My key takeaways: Anticipation of the journey, mindful awareness during the journey, and sober pride at the end of the journey. Oh, and I am very grateful for the new friends I met who helped load and unload the truck. We couldn't have done it alone!
If my writings in this photography project can benefit anyone in their recovery, I am proud to be of service!
Staying mindful and strong!
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